Monday, May 12, 2008

All you need is love...da dadada

Hello to anyone reading this blog.

Yes, Sarah, thanks for your comments. Yes you are a romantic at heart and bless your soul for it.

This theme of love is so central to this story. Captain Angus's love for his wife, the lack of love in Raymond's life after such a love-filled childhood. I often wonder what the 'true' nature of love is. Is there one love that is more powerful than another? Does the eternal love of a couple outshine the love a man who has spent his life engrossed in the photography of nature so the world can see its beauty, or the love of a single mum for her child? Is there an underlying principle that forms the bedrock for all forms of love.

One of the reader's comments are interesting in that she says serial killers and dictators do what they do because they do not know love. I am not sure I agree, I want to agree but I am not sure I can. Often through history, these people had lovers, wives, husbands. Some of them had a love for their people that seemed to be all-consuming. To me, there seems to be many types of love; love that can inspire, comfort, sustain, and love that can fracture, enslave, rent and destroy - and all shades in-between. Whether we consider these forms of love to be worthy or not, they are there. Many a wonder has been created out of love - the Taj Mahal for example and on the other hand, many a travesty has been enacted in the name of love.

What I am particularly interested to discover and explore for Raymond and The captain; is what makes the love that binds a couple together forever? What are the ingredients that sustain the all-powerful feeling of wanting to be with another human being for the rest of our lives? Is that possible at all in this modern world where people can live without a partner or family unit more easily than they have ever been able to do so in the past (at least in the western world); a world where men and women are more independent and their expectations are higher.

The facts and figures suggest that a sole partner relationships that extend past 20 years are becoming rare. I want to know why. Can we love more than one person in our lives and is each love as strong as the previous?

And the big questions...

Can we be truly happy in this world without being in a love-filled monogamous relationship with another? Are there other forms of love besides one-to-one relationships that can sustain us? A love of god? A love of the world and its people? A love for your art, your vocation? A love of oneself? A love of a dependant? What is the true definition of love in the modern world? And finally, what is the meaning of 'true' love and what is the power of love in the modern world?

Like Sarah, I want to know more about Captain Angus. He has a love that has sustained him into old age. How did that happen? What has made his love so eternal? Is it him, was it his wife, both, or love itself, that has kept them together? And Raymond, he is young in this modern world, he had a loving partner but left her, he is not sure what love is and does not search for it. Why? What difference would it make to his life, his mental health?

I will be asking Raymond and the Captain all these questions in the next few months. We have plenty of time the three of us, they are now as much a part of my life as my 'flesh and blood' friends are.

I welcome your thoughts and comments as always.

Joe.

P.S I have written the first 6 chapters in draft. I showed a friend the prologue and she said it made her very emotional as she has young boys and the prologue revolves around Raymond as a young boy sitting on the pier with his dad, happy in dreams of pirate ships and adventures.

I'm not sure about publishing any of it on this forum due to copyright, I'll have to check. Extracts may be fine though.

3 comments:

Sarah said...

It was more a suggestion that maybe people who don't know love can be driven to do cruel things exactly because they don't have love in their lives, rather than a firm belief of mine. It's a simple and alluring answer that leads us to believe that if we have love, everything else will fall into place. But as we all know, reality is rarely this simple.

However, this may be some people's motivation to do the horrible things they do, either because they're scarred for lack of love, or hoping to achieve love by doing what they are doing. And of course, love can be so many things...

When I speak of love, I mean the kind of love that is pure (in a way), unconditional and life-enriching. Not the love that turns to obsession and violence. That's not true love to me. If you love someone, whether they be a friend, relative, husband or pet - you will love them for who they are.

I think we have some sort of destructive idea of perfection today. We try to achieve everything, and get dissatisfied with ourselves, our partners or our lives when it turns out we can't.

And like we've discussed before, people are disconnected from each other and from the belief in God/religion/spirituality today, and we end up confused. Confused about who and why we are, and where to go from here. I've spent most of my life being confused about stuff, and in some respects it's not that bad, because it makes you ask questions, and you're not supposed to know everything anyway.

Douglas Adams wrote in one of his Hitchhikers books about the theory that once we discovered what the meaning of the universe was, it would immediately disappear and be replaced by something more complex.

For me personally, I can say that I am happy when I am able to share the love I have with someone who loves me back. But I've been in love before and been unhappy. So it's a matter of finding that person where love comes together with understanding and acceptance. And I know people are also happy in their lives if they have a fulfilling job, a passion for art, a family, and for me that would be nice as well. But a place inside me would always be empty if I didn't have this romantic love.

It doesn't seem like everyone craves this, but a lot of people do. And a lot of people have different ideas about what this romantic love is. So I have to say that I think finding someone to be happily in love with for a longer time - perhaps all your life - is a tremendous stroke of luck.

What we all should be better at is appreciating the little wonders of every day. The smells and colours of flowers, a child's smile or laughter, the kindness of a stranger. And we must do our best to remember and treasure those moments in life when we have felt truly happy. I know I've had many of them.

On I ramble. Must stop for now. I'll be back to read more about Angus and Raymond, and I'll write you later Joe.

Shannon said...

Lots of good questions that seem unanswerable. My only conclusion about love is that in our state we can't even begin to touch it. I think the things you've mentioned: the love between partners, parent and child, man and his passions...these are only shadows of love's true nature. However, I believe that love is so powerful, even its shadow is infinite and even the shadow of infinity is infinite, so there you go.
When I was younger I was a complete romantic, as I've gotten older and looked into things a bit, I have to say I think we are completely ruled by our hormones (and the need to procreate for our species' survival) when it comes to most emotions. I'm still holding out hope for love, though.

I've seen the first chapter or two posted of novels online. If you're comfortable with that.

kisatrtle said...

Joe, wow six chapters in draft form you are making great progress. I love how thought provoking your posts are. They really make me stop and ponder. I love that. Hope you will put a snippet on of what you have written I'd enjoy a sneak peek.